Coffee, Calculus, & Ceramics
by joelmillers
Summary: College AU. Joel, Tess, Tommy, and Maria, all attending University together, experience the ups and downs of higher education and beyond.
1. Chapter 1

"Well, I'm failin' Calculus again, baby brother." Joel plopped down across from Tommy at his usual haunt in the cafeteria.

Tommy rolled his eyes. "One: don't call me baby brother. Two: Dad and Mama are gonna have your ass if you don't pass this time, idiot. 'Sides, how can you know? We're not even three weeks into the damn semester."

"Just got my first exam back," he said with a mouth full of pizza.

Tommy lips twitched with a hint of a cringe. "How bad?"

"D minus." His voice was flat with imminent failure.

Tommy sighed, reclining in his seat and folding his hands over his stomach, imitating the posture of their father. "Jesus, Joel," he grumbled, even adopting the rumbling southern drawl of the elder Miller's voice. "If you fail that call, you ain't gonna find a home on my couch, I'll tell ya that much."

"Alright, Dad," Joel rolled his eyes. "Not really in the mood."

Tommy chuckled, returning to his sandwich. "Seriously, dude, just sign up for tutoring."

"I don't want to. The guys'll give me shit for it."

Being a member of the football team wasn't exactly helping his academic troubles. Joel had received a great deal of financial aid because of his athletic ability, but his teammates weren't doing him any favors with their nonexistent study habits and tendency to beat up on any of the guys who were easy targets. "Nerds", or the guys who received help from the Academic Success Center, were one of those targets, and Joel wasn't up for another reason for that group to pick on him. Though he did consider them friends, they gave him enough grief as it was.

"Well, the team already made a big exception for you when you failed last time, so I reckon you should probably figure out a way to get help for your math troubles." Tommy looked at him earnestly, actually truly concerned for his sibling for once. "Wouldn't want to see ya lose that scholarship, y'know?"

"I know." He nodded, taking another bite of pizza to soothe his troubles. "I do fine in everything else, I don't know why I have to take goddamned Calculus."

"Hey, I don't make the rules."

Joel cracked a smile. "Yeah, and I sure am glad ya don't."

Tommy opened his mouth to fire back a response, but a look of realization came over his face. He grinned, clearly pleased with whatever connection he was making behind the wall of his skull. "Oh no," Joel murmured. "You have an idea. This can't be good."

"No, no, trust me, it's good." He glanced at Joel's unbelieving eyes, ignored the look he got, and continued. "Y'know my friend Tess?"

"Your girlfriend?"

Tommy scoffed. "Gross. Not my girlfriend. But yes, that Tess, the ceramics kid."

"Sure, we've met a couple times." Joel remembered her vaguely, knowing that he'd liked her for the way she'd treated Tommy like an idiot almost as much as he did. Whenever he saw her, her hands and clothes were always spattered with some kind of paint or clay. "Why?"

"She's real good at math. Like, genius good. Maybe I could ask her to help ya out. Nobody would have to know unless ya tell 'em."

Joel pondered this for a moment. From what he remembered, she seemed like a nice girl. Pretty, too. He wasn't wild about the idea of an underclassman tutoring him, but he'd take what he could get, especially if it was on his own terms. "Sure, if she's willing to. I dunno how much I could pay her, though."

"I'm sure we can work somethin' out. You could probably pay her in coffee," Tommy chuckled. "I don't think I've ever seen her without a cup. Ah, speak of the devil," he nodded to the other side of the room, where Tess was scanning into the cafeteria, trailed by a girl of about the same size with a pile of dreadlocks sorted neatly into a bun on top of her head. Joel often saw them together when Tommy had them around, and knew that she was Tess's roommate. "Hey, Teresa! Get your ass over here!"

Tess glanced up, flipped him off with one raised hand, and went off to get herself a plate of food. Tommy replied to her with the same gesture, hiding a grin under his mock-grumpiness. The other girl approached the table, ruffling Tommy's hair from behind. "Hey, punk."

"Howdy, Lola. Hey, why would you willingly room with that one? Rude as hell."

Lola sighed, smiling at Joel from behind Tommy. "I don't know, she pressured me into it and I felt too bad to say no, I guess." She shrugged, suppressing a small giggle. She took the seat next to Tommy and kicked him lightly on the shin. "Nice to see you, Joel."

Joel laughed. "You too."

Tess came to the table from the same direction as her roommate had, smacking Tommy on the back of the head as she went by. She put her food down at the empty spot next to Joel and nearly threw herself into the seat, letting out a long noise of frustration and exhaustion. "I swear," she announced, taking an aggressive chomp of her salad. "Bill is gonna run me into the fucking ground and he totally does it on purpose. Just to me."

Seeing the look of confusion on his brother's face, Tommy explained. "Her ceramics professor." Joel nodded as she continued, noticing the faint traces of greyish clay in her hair.

"I swear, somebody else makes a bowl on the wheel? 'Oh, beautiful work, I love this and that and everything!'" She imitated her professor's gruff voice with ease. Lola was getting a kick out of it, seeing as she was in the same class. "I'm glad you think it's funny, Lo, 'cause I don't at all. I make something? 'Off center, too thin on this side, just scrap it and try again!' Fuck no! Christ, I'm gonna fail this class if he doesn't cut me some slack."

"So…" Tommy started, barely avoiding interrupting her rant. "Now would be a bad time to ask for a favor?"

She gave him a resentful look dripping with disbelief. "You're _really _gonna do this right now?"

"I'm serious, Tess, Joel here," he gestured to his older brother. Joel shot him a look, knowing that now was not the time to ask for a tutoring session, seeing as how much of her last nerve had already been danced on. Joel knew better than to ask a favor of a woman who had already lost her patience with someone else. "He's failin' Calculus again, and he needs to pass to keep his damn scholarships and also to avoid being disowned by our parents."

Joel swallowed. "And?" She said, her fork stopped halfway to her mouth. Joel glanced at her face, noting the annoyance pulling at the corner of her lips. This wasn't going to end well, he could feel it.

"And… he was wonderin' if you could help him out, just enough so he doesn't fail the class again," Tommy explained, ignoring the look on Joel's face at his use of "_he _was wondering."

He opened his mouth to save his skin. "No, I wasn't—"

"So Mister Linebacker needs some Calc help, huh?" To his surprise, she smirked, looking lighter than she had a moment ago. "I'm sure we could figure out some kind of arrangement."

"Really?" Joel and Tommy asked in unison, both staring at her. Lola laughed.

"Sure, I've got nothing against Joel. You, on the other hand," she gestured to Tommy with a stabbing gesture of her fork, a piece of lettuce falling from it and onto the table. "I won't do shit for you. Your brother seems nice enough to be worth my precious time."

"Thanks, Tess," Joel said, watching the curve of her lips turn upwards at the sound of his voice. A few overdue butterflies unshelled themselves from the pit of his stomach and flew up to gather in his throat. He swallowed them down, trying not to focus on the pretty girl that had agreed to tutor him and instead turned back to his meal. "I appreciate it. We can work out the details later on, I guess."

"Sounds like a plan, Texas."

He glanced up at her once more, despite his best efforts to distract himself. "Texas?"

"Yeah, you like it? Figure it suits you, with that accent and all." She smirked, elbowing him slightly with the same arm that held her fork before taking another bite of salad.

"The same accent my brother has?"

She laughed, the sound light as a bell in his ears, just barely laced with sarcasm. "Yeah, but he already has a whole collection of nicknames, most of them incredibly profane or just generally rude. I have good faith you're not dumb enough to earn similar ones, so I present 'Texas' to you with the hope that you'll live up to the cuss-free nature of the name."

"Why does he get a nice one?" Tommy protested while Joel and Tess shared a smile. "I'm not _that _bad."

"Every nickname that Lola and I have given you has been honestly earned." Tess turned to him with a nod, smirking slightly as he narrowed his eyes. "What else are best friends for, punkass?"

Lola took a long sip of her coffee before joining in on the fun. "You usually are that bad, for the record."

"Come on, back me up, Joel." Tommy looked to his brother, who could only offer a shrug.

"If they say you earned 'em, I would guess they're probably right, considering I know all the dumb shit ya did before they even met you."

Tess perked up at the sound of this. "Oh, dumb shit, huh? I'll have to hear these. You can pay me in stories that I can hold over your brother's head, that sound fair?"

"Well, I'm rich in that regard, so sure thing," Joel chuckled, watching dismay come over Tommy's face. "Come on, baby brother, don't look so distressed. What could I possibly know that you wouldn't want your friends here to know?"

Tommy protested loudly, throwing a half-eaten roll at Joel and missing. "Fuck you, Joel, I get you a damn Calculus tutor and this is what I get? What happened to brotherhood? Loyalty?" Joel chuckled as Tommy ranted with mock-melodramatics. "But seriously, I'll kick your ass."

"That so?" Joel cocked a brow at Lola, who was giggling silently next to Tommy. "He thinks he's tough, but he couldn't hurt a fly."

Tess scoffed, turning to laugh with him. "You're telling me." She elbowed him and they shared a smile, lingering just an extra moment as his eyes lingered on her bottom lip and traced up her freckled cheek to her green eyes, grinning. One leftover butterfly floated from his gut and up to his lungs where it dissolved into a bundle of nerves. "You're something else, Texas."

"You too."


	2. Chapter 2

Tess walked along the sidewalk with Tommy, tensing at the gust of a strong breeze coming up the hill at their backs. The long hike to the football field was hopefully going to be worth the effort, though the team has been on a losing streak (despite Joel's best efforts). "D'ya think they'll have better luck today?"

Tess laughed. "I don't know a thing about football. You tell me."

"If Joel wasn't on the team, I probably wouldn't give a shit. I'm just more convinced with getting drunk after the game, if we're bein' honest here."

"Right. I almost forgot who I was talking to for a second there."

Tommy chuckled as the walked on, rounding the corner into the stadium to get into line. "Wanna buy me a hot dog?"

"Yeah, sure. Then I'll give you free beer and win the lottery and give that all to you, too." She rolled her eyes as she passed the turnstile and entered the stadium. "Who do you think I am, one of your adoring little fans?"

"Right, _I _forgot who I was talking to for a second there. You don't have to be a bitch all the time, y'know."

"If you keep saying 'bitch', Lola's gonna get mad at you," Tess reminded him, waiting up for him as he tried not to get tangled in the turnstile. She laughed at him despite the frustrated looks her threw her. "You know she doesn't like that word."

"Yeah, and she doesn't like 'whore', 'slut', or 'lesbo' either." He said the words with such a distain for her roommate's political correctness that Tess's eyes nearly rolled out of her skull.

She clucked her tongue, walking out to the stands and picking a seat close to the exit. "Huh, I wonder why?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, speakin' of bitchin', how's tutoring my big brother going?"

She hesitated for a moment, searching for the number 27 in the sea of jerseys on the field. "Fine, I guess," she said, feeling a bit defensive. She'd developed a small crush on Joel in the past weeks, simply because he was handsome and fun to be around. Nothing would come of it, she was sure, but it didn't hurt to have a crush. She just didn't want Tommy to find out about it, because after that it would be all over and she would never live it down. "Why do you ask?"

"Because I was just wonderin'? Can't a man ask about his brother's academic status without gettin' jumped on? Tutors these days." Tommy threw his hands up as the football team took their positions on the field.

She spotted Joel soon after, not paying attention to Tommy's dramatics. "He's just fine. I'm teaching him what he asks of me and I get coffee, laundry money, and all the dirt on you in return. I'd say it's a good deal for both of us."

"That so? You like him, then?" The shit-eating grin on his face said only one thing: he was on to her.

"I think he's a nice guy. Nicer than you."

"Nice enough to kiss?" Tommy's tone was filled with a knowing smile. She rolled her eyes, trying to will her cheeks to not be so flushed with her embarrassed blush. Fighting off his accusations with her words was easy for her, but her body language was about to give her away. "Hmm?"

"I think he's nice enough to tutor, like you asked me to. And if you keep harassing me, it won't be that way anymore, and it'll be your fault when he fails," she explained angrily in one breath, focusing her gaze on the game and her thoughts on something besides Joel and the idiot sitting next to her.

"Well damn, you could just say it like a normal human being, Tess. Is it that time of the month?" Tommy turned his attention to the game, narrowing his eyes when she glanced at him.

She glared at him. "First, fuck off. Second, sorry I don't like being accused of mixing tutoring with pleasure."

"Whatever you say, Teresa."

"Why the hell do I spend time with you again?"

Truthfully, tutoring _had _been going well with Joel. They'd been meeting in the library twice a week to go over his notes and the homework that was being assigned to him. She was patient and he was attentive, though he often asked her about her days and her likes and dislikes and seemed to genuinely want to get to know her. He wasn't a lot like Tommy. He was sweeter, more genuine, less concerned with making jokes and more concerned with actually knowing the person he was speaking to. She liked that about him. She liked that he listened when she spoke, he spoke when she listened, and he laughed at all of her jokes. (Even the math ones that he didn't quite understand.) She understood that nothing would come out of their tutoring sessions, that he was so far out of her league that she could never even dream of being more than just his tutor, but a small admiration of the guy she was helping didn't hurt anyone.

"Never seen ya so interested in football before, Tess." Tommy persisted subtly despite their previous conversation.

She scoffed, pulling her hood up over her head to shield her blushing cheeks. "I like football. Always have."

"Uh huh. And you like football players, too."

. . .

"Hey, Tommy. Tess," he nodded to her with a smile on his face, despite the football team's loss. He was freshly showered and exhausted, but back in his sweats and a shirt and somehow not feeling like going to the party that he'd promised Tommy they'd attend. "Listen, Tommy, I'm not feelin' so hot and I don't think I'm gonna go to the party, but Morgan's goin' if you're still interested."

Tommy groaned. "You're bailin' again? Come on." He sighed, glancing over at Tess. "Alright, I guess I'll go."

"Don't sound so excited about it," Joel chuckled, punching him hard on the shoulder. "I'm sure you'll make out alright."

He rolled his eyes. "I'd better. Hard to do that when Mo's around."

"Poor Tommy," Tess teased, making a crying motion with her hands.

"Well what are you gonna do, then?" Tommy nodded to her. "You still wanna come?"

She glanced over at Joel. Her interest in the party had mainly come from the prospect of getting drunk with him around. "I think I'll just turn in. I'll see you in the morning, though."

"Suit yourself." Tommy shrugged, spotting Morgan walking in the opposite direction and jogging off to catch up with him just as fast.

Joel sighed. "And then, there were two."

"Don't sound so happy to see me, Texas," she teased, leaning against him just enough to throw him slightly off-balance. "Might start thinking you don't like seeing me around."

"Oh, that's definitely not it." She could feel herself blushing vibrantly past her freckles. "It's just that with you usually comes Calculus, so sometimes when I see you I get that 'pre-Calculus dread' feeling in my stomach. But otherwise, you're a sight for sore eyes."

"Thanks… I think?" she laughed, starting to walk with him. "God, it's dark."

"I'll walk with ya, if you'd like."

She smiled, glancing bashfully down at the ground and then back to his green eyes. "Yeah, that'd be nice of you. It's not in the opposite direction, is it?"

"Not at all."

They walked along in silence for a while, Joel kicking a small rock ahead of them and then catching up to it to kick it once more. Hands shoved in his pockets, he would occasionally catch a glimpse of her glancing back at him and he'd smile. It wasn't uncomfortable and it wasn't forced. It was natural. As the overdue streetlights flickered to life and flooded the streets with light, he cleared his throat.

"Why do you hang out with him, anyway?" Joel asked, nodding back in the direction of the football stadium. "I think we both know he can be an ass most of the time."

Tess laughed. "Yeah, I know. I dunno, he tried asking me out on a date but soon realized that we're a little too much alike to actually be able to function on that level together."

"You? Like Tommy? Yeah, I'm not seeing that."

She nodded, looking up at him as he kicked the rock again. "Well, he took me out to eat and we both ordered chicken wings and root beer, cussed at the football game on the pub's TV, and ended up arm wrestling before the night was over. Not exact girlfriend material. Besides, I wasn't interested."

It was Joel's turn to laugh. "Arm wrestlin'? On a first date. Dammit, Tommy…"

"I beat him, for the record. That was the deal breaker." She smirked, and his eyes followed the curve of her lips as they turned upwards.

He laughed harder. "Oh, Christ. Well, I found out something new about you, Tess. You're in charge."

She shrugged, giving him a look of nonchalance. "For the record, I'm pretty sure I could beat you too, Tex."

"Yeah? So that's the deal breaker once again?" He looked down at the ground to kick his rock again, realizing he'd missed it when he'd been laughing and admiring her smile. He glanced at her from the corner of his eye and saw her mouth open and close, searching for some kind of response.

"I didn't mean—"

"I'm just teasin' you, Tess," he explained, trying to ignore the elation rising in him from her baffled state at the idea of them not being compatible. He also tried to ignore the thought that maybe she would want to go on a first date with him, and instead focused on the cracked lines of the sidewalk.

She exhaled. "Right. When are you not?"

They fell into another comfortable silence as the rest of the school's campus began to come back into sight. He noted that her pace has slowed a bit, walking next to him with a little more relaxation than she had initially displayed. Her dormitory was the closest from where they were, and part of him was actually dreading dropping her off. The same part of him wanted to ask her to get coffee with him, or to just keep walking. Whenever he was with her, he just wanted to keep her talking. She was intriguing. She was, as he put it, something else.

"Well, this is where I get off," she said, sighing with a smile. "Thanks for the walk, Joel."

They crossed the street, running to get out of the way on an oncoming car. "Anytime, Tess," he laughed, turning to her in front of her building. "Thanks for comin' to the game."

"Of course. Good job out there. I know you're one of the better players on the field," she winked, patting his arm. "So, tomorrow at seven?"

He swallowed. Was she asking him on a date? He felt himself blushing in the dark, stammering for some sort of answer. "What's tomorrow?"

"Monday?" she laughed, patting his arm again as she watched him fumbling in his confusion. "Tutoring. The library. Seven PM, big guy."

His eyes widened. "Right. Right, tutoring, right. Seven. Yeah, I'll be there. "

"Alright, bring your A-game. I'm not gonna go easy on you."

He smirked, regaining some of his footing in the conversation. Tess knew how to keep things comfortable, even when they were awkward. "I'd expect nothing less from you."

She started walking backwards towards her building, still grinning at him as she held his gaze. "I just like to keep you on your toes." With that, she saluted him with two fingers and went on her way, disappearing into the lobby of the dorm and leaving him motionless out on the sidewalk. His head was still stuck spinning with the thought of her.

"That you do," he murmured, turning back to head off in the opposite direction. 


	3. Chapter 3

"So if you take the square root and then carry—" she stopped short, realizing Joel wasn't paying any attention to her. "Joel?"

"Hmm?" he focused back at her eyes. He'd been staring at her arms, dotted with freckles. "Yeah, yeah the square root."

"You're not even trying to listen right now."

He leaned back, cross-legged across from her on his bed with his calculus book between them. Not even a hint of laughter touched her eyes. "I never noticed ya had freckles on your arms."

Her heart skipped a fraction of a beat, much to her annoyance. She didn't want to think about the lines of his mouth or the way his eyes were raking over her skin while she wasn't paying attention. She'd been avoiding the small attraction she felt to her best friend's older brother for weeks. He was cute, sure, but she felt that letting herself feel anything for him would get her in way over her head. The butterflies and goosebumps that showed themselves as she passed the time with him went without acknowledgement. She didn't need the distraction. Her purpose was to tutor him in calculus. Nothing more.

"Genetics," she shrugged, not looking him in the eye. "Now stop distractin' me and let's get this done."

"You think I'm distracting?"

"I think you're being an ass."

He laughed, eyebrows shooting up halfway to his hairline. "Wow, fightin' words, huh Tessa?"

She didn't even bother protesting the use of her nickname. "Come on, it's getting late, let's just finish this homework."

"Yes ma'am," he murmured, rolling his eyes with a small smile, turning back to the notebook in his lap. They fell into a comfortable silence, only slightly interrupted by the nervous churning of her stomach. Reaching for her can of soda, she tried yet again to ignore the buzzing of every nerve ending of her body and the flying of her thoughts.

He worked for a long time in silence, allowing her time to think. It was always so hard to tell between what was Joel being Joel, and what was flirting. And a large part of her had no desire to find out which was which. A small part, however, really did want to know; the same part was silently hoping it was the latter. When she shook herself out of her thoughts and back into reality, he was staring at her.

"Your hair almost looks a little red in the light," he said, brow furrowed. Another bolt of electricity ran up through her stomach to the top of her head. "I never noticed that."

"Jesus, Texas, you're never gonna get your work done," she said, trying to shake off her nerves. "Maybe we should stick to workin' in the library?"

"I like it here. It's a little quieter."

"Did you finish that problem?" She swallowed, trying to ignore the closing space between them. "It's getting late."

He reached out to shove her playfully. "C'mon, Tessa, why so strict tonight? You're never like this when we study." His hand lingered a little longer than it should have, sending yet another shock of sensations through her body. His green eyes burned with sincerity and something a little too sweet. Her eyes darted quickly from his hand to his gaze, his hand still on her forearm. Her unease overwhelmed her, filling her with insecurity and panic, and sent her reeling off the bed and onto her feet.

"I should go," she blurted out, grabbing her bag and coat, and heading for the door.

He hopped off of his bed, scratching the back of his head. "Tess? What's goin' on?"

"I just remember I have a lot of things I need to do and I should really just get going—"

He took a few steps, almost closing the space between them. "But what about the homework? I don't know—"

"The solution is 37," she blurted out, eyes wide as she opened the door with one hand. "I'll see you around."

She paced quickly down the hall, leaving him speechless in his doorway. Her head was still spinning from his touch, his gaze, the way he'd seemed to do everything with such intent and such ease at the same time. Did he have any idea the hold he had on her that seemed to suddenly solidify within moments? She was kicking herself for being so… unlike herself.

"Tess?" She heard him calling from his doorway, not following her. "Tess, is everything okay?" When she didn't turn, she heard his footsteps following her. "Listen, I didn't—"

"I'm fine, I just have to go."

"Hey." He was right behind her. She felt his hand close gently around her arm, causing her to instantly wheel around to face him. "What has gotten into you?" She stared at him like a deer caught in his headlights, eyes wide and her insides trembling.

"I have to go," she tried to say again, but it came out as a whisper. His hand was still on her wrist. "It's not…" She waited for him to interrupt, but he waited for her to continue. "I don't…"

"Just come back to the room, and we'll finish the calc, and then go?" His eyes didn't let up, just relentlessly burning into hers with such an intensity, multiplied by the fact that she was practically running from the small advances he had attempted.

"Joel—" she breathed, pulling her hand out of his grasp. "What are we doing?"

"What do you—"

She exhaled, trying to keep it together. "I'm going."

She turned and left the hall, giving him one last glance as she headed out the door. She caught him running a hand through his hair in frustration, locking eyes with her for one more electrifying second. The flustered frustration of the encounter left her reeling, her knees trembling as she booked it down the hall to the main door of the building. A muffled "_goddamn!" _and a loud thud followed her through the walls, where he was undoubtedly on the other side. Her heart hammered harder in response. Had she just blown any chance she had?

It was just panic. It had been too much for her at once, suddenly admitting those feelings and to have him nearly openly acknowledge that he felt the same through his body language was absolutely overwhelming. She exited the building and leaned against the brick wall immediately to her side. Tears came welling to her eyes before she could think to stop them. She was in over her head, way over her head. Strangely, some small piece of her didn't want to fight it. But the rest of her body did.

She steadied herself with a few deep breaths, swallowing the lump in her throat. She had feelings for him. Of this, she had no doubt.


	4. Chapter 4

It'd been three days since she'd walked out on Joel in the middle of tutoring, blushing and trying to avoid the inevitable show of her feelings for him. She turned the corner of the hall, his notebook in hand that she had accidentally grabbed in her haste. He'd texted her about it (and the events of that night) twice, but she hadn't worked up the nerve to answer him. Instead, she found herself bracing for an awkward conversation face-to-face, which was arguably worse, but less drawn out and more direct. Best to get it over with quickly, she reasoned. Still, her knees knocked and her hands shook and she suddenly felt dizzy.

Swallowing the lump in her throat, she knocked twice on his door and waited. The sounds of shuffling and something falling over inside reached her, muffled from her place outside of the room. "I'm comin'!" he called. She hoped she hadn't woken him. It was nearly midnight, and he had calculus first thing in the morning the next day.

He opened the door, wearing nothing but an undershirt and boxers. His hair was more disheveled than she'd ever seen it before, and he had a look of overall disorientation about him. Still, his eyes lit up the moment he registered that it was his friend.

"Heeeeey, pretty Tessa," he grinned, swinging an arm from the doorway to push a chunk of hair behind her ear. The motion sent her stomach into a burst of butterflies, still blushing from the way he'd called her pretty. It was also in that moment that she realized he was very drunk. "What'cha doin' here so late?"

"I have your calc notebook," she said, smiling slightly, but still concerned that he'd been drinking the night before an early class. He took it from her and tossed it carelessly to his desk just behind him. She smirked, one eyebrow raised as he turned back to her in all his drunken smoothness.

"So how's your day goin'? I've been thinkin' about ya." He drew out his syllables, wobbling a little as he hiccupped. She almost laughed.

"Yeah?" She steadied him with one hand, patting his arm as he found balance with the doorframe. "How's that going, Rico Suave?"

"Hmmm, pretty good, actually. You're here now." His smile was just a little too sweet.

She pursed her lips, trying to ignore the millions of butterflies unshelling themselves from their cocoons and flying up through her chest. "You always this confident with a little Cap'n in you?"

He folded his arms in mock-defense, frowning. "So what if I am?" A smirk touched his lips as he leaned forward. She could smell the alcohol on his breath, which was the only reason she leaned away. That, and her nerves.

She reached up and patted his chest, taking a small step forward despite his breath and the stale smell of sweat left over from the party he'd briefly attended. From the look of his room, his roommate was still there. A laugh escaped her lips as he swayed slightly. "You've got calc in the morning. You might want to consider getting some sleep, big guy."

His eyes widened slightly, sobered by the reminder of math in just a few short hours and by the sudden warmth of her hand on his chest. The thin layer of cotton between their skin only added to the closeness. He stared at her, words lost from his mouth, trying to get his wits back about him so he could respond to her advice. "I have class…"

"You do. C'mon, let's get you into bed." She took him by the arm, trying to make sure he kept his balance. If he went down, they were both going to end up on the floor, and she didn't think her nerves could handle a shock like that with the condition she was already in. She helped him into his bed, where he crawled under the covers and lazily shut his eyes. "What, I'm gonna tuck you in, too?" He was more drunk than she'd initially realized.

"Mmmmhm, if ya please."

She rolled her eyes, tucking the blankets around his shoulders. "Goodnight, Texas. Try not to be too hungover in calc tomorrow, you're only making more work for me."

"Mmm, I'll try," he grinned, eyes still shut. "C'mon, Tessa, won't ya stay?" She turned to leave, but felt a strong arm snaking around her lower back. She yelped, startled by his touch, and stumbled as she turned back to him. In one swift movement, she found herself nearly halfway into his bed, her face right above his and his arm wrapped tightly around her waist.

He laughed first, amused at the look of sheer horror on her face. Her nervousness was getting the better of her, but she couldn't help but acknowledge the sheer ridiculousness of the situation. "Well well, Tess, if ya wanted t'cuddle with me, you coulda just asked."

"I—I—" she was searching for words, but couldn't seem to come up with any sort of response to his drunken teasing. The closeness of his body against hers was driving her absolutely wild. Remembering the fact that he was pretty drunk, and hoping he wouldn't have any recollection of the interaction in the morning, she put a hand on his chest once more and swallowed down her nervousness. "In your dreams, Joel," she smirked, trying to hide the insane hammering of her heart.

"Such a tease," he murmured, his face so close to hers she thought she might burst. The booze on his breath mattered less than the actual physical proximity between them. "Always teasin' me. When are ya gonna come around, Tessa?"

"Ask me tomorrow," she tried to say with confidence, but her voice shook. She felt his arm loosen around her waist, but it was her turn to linger for an extra second, taking in the blissful, intoxicated smile on his lips. "Maybe you'll get a straight answer."

"You don't know what a straight answer is."

She pulled away from him, straightening her clothes and tucking his arm back into his covers. "I tutor you in calculus. I always have a straight answer. I'm just waiting for the question." This silenced him, and a relieved smile touched her lips. "Goodnight, Joel. Text me when you're done being hungover tomorrow."

"Yes ma'am," he murmured sleepily, a small tone of questioning in his voice.

. . .

"Hey, Tess." Joel's voice startled her up from her book, her knee jolting upward and nearly knocking the table hard enough to spill her coffee. She'd been sitting in the corner of the campus coffee shop for a solid half hour, nerves buzzing as she waited for him to get out of class. He laughed, steadying her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. "Easy there, it's just me."

"Sorry, I was just—" she stammered, closing her book and raising her eyes to meet his. She found herself once again caught in his gaze. "Reading."

"I can see that," he laughed, taking his seat across from her. "You got me coffee?" He picked up the second cup, surprised. "You didn't have to."

"Figured I'd save you the time. Still hungover?"

He chuckled once more. "Only a little. Calc was a bit of a struggle, more than usual. You were right, last night."

She tried not to choke on the sip of coffee she'd been taking. "Last night?"

"I wasn't dreaming, was I? Did I sleepwalk to your dorm to get my notes back?" he asked, patting his notebook. "Besides, I think you owe me a straight answer, Miss Calculus."

Her cheeks flushed so red, they felt hotter than her coffee. "I was hoping you were too drunk to remember that."

"It would take a couple more shots before I forget you fallin' halfway into my bed, Tess." He leaned back in his chair, waiting for her to respond. She folded her hands in her lap, half-burrowing into her too-big sweater as if it could swallow her up and help her to avoid the topic altogether. "Which is what I'm assumin' you brought me here to address?"

"You were drunk and I tucked you in. No big deal, Texas."

He scoffed. "Oh, please. You told me you were waitin' for a question, so I'm askin' it now." He swallowed, staring at her until she raised her eyes to his. His voice was hushed, but still strong. "What did you bring me here for?"

"I don't—" She considered chickening out, or just walking away. She swallowed hard. His eyes lingered on hers, only slightly moving to look at her lips. She'd had enough. "What are we doing, Joel?"

His look softened. "What d'ya mean?"

"What is this? I'm not just tutoring you anymore. And don't you dare bullshit yourself into thinkin' that I am."

"Well, we're friends, Tessa, it was bound to happen…"

"Oh, stop with the bullshit," she shook her head, shooting him a serious look. At the same time, her stomach sunk. Had she misread the signals entirely? But no, she felt a second wind of equal parts confidence and anger enter her throat and push her words forward. "You've been flirting with me like the world's comin' to an end, Joel. What am I supposed to think? What's really going on?"

He thought about her words for a moment, taking a long sip of coffee that made her patience start to run out even faster. Her insides buzzed with the adrenaline of putting all of her nervousness and frustration out in the open between them. It was terrifying and relieving all at once. He glanced at the table, down at his coffee, and then back up to her. Small pauses of his mouth opening and closing preceded his actual response.

"I dunno. You're smart, you're funny as hell, and you're pretty, Tess. I… I dunno. I like you a lot."

A quiet sigh of relief exited her mouth. Yet, she still found herself nervously stammering. "I… You're pretty… nice too, Tex."

He chuckled. "Well, I never heard that one before, but thank you all the same."

There was a tense silence before she gathered the courage to follow up. "So what does that mean? For us?"

"What do you want it to mean?" She couldn't bear to look him in the eyes, nor say what her heart was begging her to say as it pounded violently against her ribcage. He noted this as he watched her; he reached out and took her hand that had come to rest on the table into the palm of his own. A small round of goosebumps touched her skin as she got used to the contact.

"I don't know," she said softly, bashfully, as his thumb stroked her skin. His touch alone calmed her considerably.

"Well, I'll tell ya what. How about you come to the game tonight?" he offered, squeezing her hand. "A bunch of us are getting' together after. I'd like ya to come." She said nothing, only focused on the rip in the knee of her jeans under the table. Her hair hung slightly over her face, just enough so she didn't have to look right at him. "With me. Hmm?" Her mouth felt dry. "Please, Tess?"

She swallowed, regaining some confidence at the thought that he was honestly pursuing the idea of spending time with her. Spending time with her around his friends, or alone. Either way… It was something. "Simple as that?"

"Huh?"

"A date?" She pondered lacing her fingers with his, but decided against it.

"No!" Her heart sank at his immediate response. "I mean—I… no, not unless you want it to be." Just like that, her spirits rose again. He had her on a rollercoaster from just one conversation. He sipped his coffee with his free hand, obviously regretting his jump to the word 'no'. She raised her eyes and met his gaze once again. "So what do ya say, Tessa?"

She paused. "I guess I'll see you there."

"Good." His grin was so wide. She'd never seen him smile like that in her life. "I'll see you then. Meet me down by the tunnel when then game's over, alright?"

"Alright." She let go of his hand and he got up to leave. He said nothing more, only fumbling with his things with clumsy hands. He was still smiling when he turned to go.

She watched him go, the almost-skip in his step apparent as he left. She grinned, her stomach still full of fire and tingling and a thousand homeless butterflies that wouldn't seem to leave her alone. She could tell that he wanted to holler or skip away, and he was holding it in at least until he was out of sight. The thought made her feel better. He was just as, if not _more _excited to have put those feelings out on the table than she was. But at the same time, the nervousness was slowly taking her over once again. They'd agreed to a not-date date, but they still hadn't defined what they were. Or what they wanted. Or what they were doing.

She finished off her coffee, her head spinning faster than it had been before their conversation. With a sigh, she stood up and returned the two mugs to the counter, gathered her things, and headed for the only place she could go where she knew she could calm her raging thoughts: the studio.


End file.
